Farming Truths and the Carnival

This was sent along by my brother, who likes to wave at everyone when he comes back to the farm.

Top 10 Reasons Farm Trucks Are Never Stolen

10. They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, breakdown or run out of gas.

Ours is in the shop right now.  Fortunately, they do bounce well off of trees that happen to be on the side of the road. (We’ll also be fixing the tailgate…again. Along with the window that doesn’t roll down.)

9. Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.

I just climb out my dad’s grain truck window.

8. It is difficult to drive fast with all the fence tools, grease rags, ropes, chains,syringes, buckets, boots and loose papers in the cab.

Our daughter hasn’t completely unloaded the truck after moving back home for the summer.  Strange assortment of photography gadgets, along with household goods.

7. It takes too long to start and the smoke coming up through the rusted-out floorboard clouds your vision. Oscar and the boys at the creek

6. The Border Collie on the toolbox looks mean.

Our mutt likes to sit in the driver’s seat.  It’s a problem. 

5. They’re too easy to spot. The description might go something like this: The driver’s side door is red, the passenger side door is green, the right front fender is yellow, etc.

4. The large round bale in the back makes it hard to see if you’re being chased. You could use the mirrors if they weren’t cracked and covered with duct tape.

We have mulch in the back of our truck. I didn’t realize that until I peeked in the back to see what we should take out before leaving it at the shop.  Hope the shop can work around that.

3. Top speed is only about 45 mph.

We can go over 45, but we start vibrating at 55 mph.

2. Who wants a truck that needs a year’s worth of maintenance, u-joints, $3,000 in body work, tail-lights and windshield.

Apparently we do.

1. It is hard to commit a crime with everyone waving at you.

Exactly!  You can’t get away with much in the country.  If you did something bad, there’s always a whiff of trouble left behind somewhere. 
After spending a month or so in Europe, we were almost home after picking our daughter up at O’Hare. [Oh, my.  That was an extremely convoluted sentence]  The kid went to Europe long enough that she came back flat broke.  We picked her up at O’Hare and were almost home…..continuing….She sighed happily when we turned towards our farm and passed another car.  We all said hello.  If you’re driving, you pop a friendly finger up from the steering wheel. [My husband said: popped up a finger?!  I did say- a friendly finger.  That would be your left or right index finger. Whichever is easiest to pop up for a couple of seconds off the top of the steering wheel.  Sometimes when you’re looking down the road a mile or two-we live in flatland-you have to put your hand on the top of the wheel, just so you can pop your finger in a cool, farmer kind of fashion when you pass. ]  If you’re a passenger, just raising your hand will do.

Please check out the Carnival of Homeschooling at Homeschool Bytes. They’re stylin’ this week.


Farming Truths and the Carnival — 4 Comments

  1. That was such a funny post! Our mirrors do not have duct tape on them though… Does having to pull a rope threaded through the window in order to work the windshield wipers fill in for the taped mirrors?

    You can also tell who really doesn’t like you around here this time of year. You must have ticked someone off when you wake up and there’s a big bunch of summer squash on your doorstep. We’ve started dropping and running! There are a couple of grumpy old ladies in town who will wake up tomorrow morning with fresh squash and tomatoes. Of course, you can’t use the truck for “special” deliveries because everyone will know you were there 🙂

  2. No doubt in my family, Debra.

    I would drop eggs and run, but everyone would know it was me around her, so that’s no fun.

    I think we need to change to Top 11 Reasons…you must have your kids trained well to be windshield wiper rope pullers, Janet.

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